When You Make Someone Feel Guilty

Imagine you send an email to your good friend who lives out of state. He owes you a letter now, but he procrastinates. He even blows it off right past your birthday.

Then the buddy comes into town for a social event... say, a wedding, ... and sees you there. He cringes when he spots you. He contemplates dodging you. You spot him anyway. Then he's awkward. You exercise your charm. You reassure him that all of us let these little social obligations slip every now and then, and you understand completely.

It feels so bad to be the subject of this kind of guilt. You are thinking, "Don't torment yourself, just write the dang letter. And certainly don't dodge me! Your letters aren't all that good!"

There are times that guilt just makes us into a worse person. It finds a little crack and pries us apart. Really, now, how much relief can be found in avoiding friends, family or God Himself? We neglect to send a gift, or go to church or send a card or say our prayers, or thank a friend orwritealetterorcallorreadtheBibleorcleanorgiveupcussingorquitsmoking. We associate that unpleasant twinge with the other person. Get over it. Just reach out and connect. If they stop loving us because of piddley things, they don't deserve us.

As for God, I don't think He gets too hung up on our petty infractions.

Instead of playing hot-potato with the guilt, these are some good options:

I could get myself mad that the task isn't accomplished. Anger is more energizing than guilt.
I could imagine the completed task, and my corresponding big smile.
I think about how much I could enjoy a sudden fit of responsible behavior.